Date for date’s sake

People, you got to wait a week before you hear from me. No point in bombarding my inbox with requests. It’s getting out of control.
Okay, I am wide awake now and any semblance of illusions about my popularity has vanished.

While on a mission to kill time, lying down on my bed with boredom my only company, I was religiously switching channels hoping to find something interesting, entertaining while at the same time intellectually stimulating. That’s when I found this show that offered all the ingredients to fight boredom with a huge dose on the entertainment quotient.

The show aptly titled as “Next” is a show where aspiring “daters” get a chance to date a hunk/babe (depending on your orientation). The “date” gets to evaluate all the “daters”; all five of them before he/she can pick someone to go on a second date. The rest are, yeah you guessed it right -“Next-ed”. The rejected ones don’t go home dejected as they get paid proportionally to the length of time one spends with the “date”. Not a bad deal huh!

The show of course has its fair share of reality TV antics with back slapping, scheming, and generous displays of anger and use of bad language. How else will an audience be able to relate to such a show? Also, how long can someone watch some random person go on a date with an even more random person.

Since I mentioned that I was looking for something that was intellectually stimulating as well, I sure was disappointed when after just two minutes into the show, I realized that the chances of me achieving my objective was one in a million, worse than even my chances of getting into Harvard Business School.

I also realized that the intellectual element had to come from within and that I was only a moron to expect it even after reading a brief description of the show on the channel guide. So I set out thinking about the whole dating exercise.

Dating is a cultural issue and so the perspective of each is a product of their culture. Of course it is a given that the process of getting to know a person is sure helped by spending time with them. And so from that angle, the concept of dating is indeed relevant. In fact there are some other tremendous advantages to the exercise as well. Like one of the survey conducted by a website in UK concluded that dating promotes healthier living. Going out on dates acts as the stimulus to shed those few extra pounds and brings about the realization that one needs to become more aware of how they look.

“The happy anticipation of a date will also produce a cocktail of "happy hormones" also known as endorphins. As well as creating feelings of wellbeing, euphoria and bliss, they also boost our immune system and are anti-aging” says the report.

Any health conscious individual would be upbeat after reading this especially since your workout regimen involves going out on dates, but then would a ludicrous excuse of wanting to stay in shape warrant the need to date?

An even more appalling concept is that of blind dates. Agreed it’s a fun thing to do. Fun, when it’s done once in a while. I know a friend of mine that goes on these random dates every week and right through the week, I am subjected to the highest degree of torture-listening to her escapades each time. I also know one that once told me she was going on a date because the girl in the pink tank top four rows away from her in her math class went on one! Surely, going out on dates just because it makes you look cool in front of your peers is only lunacy personified.

Read “I Kissed Dating Good-Bye” by Joshua Harris which discusses the pitfalls of dating and you will know what I am talking about. You will realize the rewards of waiting for romance. Dating is not the elixir to find the love of your life, it is only a medium and should be left at that.

What also came as a surprise was to know that there is a thriving industry revolving around this dating phenomenon. There are numerous websites that say they give you tips on how to find a date, behave when on a date and also what do to after a date. The NY Times also carried an article this past week about dating in which a website http://www.dontdatehimgirl.com/home/index.html was mentioned which carries posts from women about dreadful men they have dated. It bills itself as an informational site dedicated to outing sleazy men who lie to prospective partners about their personal characteristics, their resume and their marital status.

So much hoopla about dating...sad.

God Bless


And of course I “Next-ed” the show after the eleventh minute after I found out its concept only to switch channels to find another where the date gets to date the dater’s mom to select the right girl/boy ! No wonder it is said reality (TV) bites- actually shocks!

The Power of Procrastination

In case you one of those smart people who wait anxiously every Tuesday evening to get a copy of the Vector, I am sure you wouldn’t have missed the numerous ads about Jorge Cham’s speech on the very same topic during the Graduate Research Day here at NJIT.

Every time I see the ad, I keep telling myself, it’s actually me who is supposed to give a talk on procrastination, having mastered it all these years. But then I figured, there won’t be a soul in the university that would stop by to listen even if I shout from the top of my voice. So I decided that I will write about it. This way I am guaranteed at least two readers: Me and my alter ego.

First of all, procrastination ain’t bad. Some of the most immaculate people I know are terrible procrastinators. Yet they do well in what they do. Ever since we learnt to hold a pencil and construct decent sentences, we have always been told to do things on time and not to postpone. In fact, I am reminded of number of Urdu couplets that emphasize the same. Is finishing things before time so important? (Before the teachers/parents march out to burn me alive-just to put things in perspective, there is a difference between before time and on time)

Over the years, the word, “procrastinate” has become derogatory and insulting. That’s primarily because we “procrastinators” let things get out of hand. Maybe we procrastinated too much! But what does procrastination mean? Is it the stereotypical meaning of laziness?

Procrastination is a skill in itself. Not everyone is good at it. It takes some aptitude to play the “lazy” game. It is probably one of the toughest to play. How many among us have the wherewithal to perform under pressure and amidst paucity of time? It is only in these pressure situations that true character emerges. Yes, it helps in character building. The rare few who can handle the pressure often have rushed lives, or many deadlines, whichever applies, but the point is that they can handle the pressure that procrastination gives and they come on top.

Procrastination has been given a negative connotation for some strange reason. It is actually a good thing. Sure, it sounds counterintuitive. Many of us procrastinate but we aren’t very proud of the same. That’s because of the negativity that society has attached to it. Procrastination establishes an environment in which the creative juices can flow. No wonder most artists are terrible procrastinators.

Procrastination has its obvious advantages. The people that don’t put things off and do all the work on time are nicknamed “geeks”. And of course, the geeks don’t get the girls, do they?? On a more serious note, procrastinators build in themselves a sense of self reliance that helps them to overcome any sort of obstacle.
You can find an awful lot of literature on how to overcome the habit of procrastinating. But in reality, it is not really possible not to procrastinate as at any point in time you have a bunch of jobs to take care of. Therefore some job or the other does get delayed. So the essential question to answer is how to procrastinate well? The answer to the question lies in how well you are able to set your priorities right. The moment you learn to prioritize, you will never have to procrastinate!

To twist the MasterCard tag line:

“There are some things in life that need immediate attention, for everything else there is Procrastination!